God has given us His Spirit, but He requires us to manage our temper and temperament. “Will over want.”
Proverbs 25:28 Like a city whose walls are broken down is a man who lacks self-control.
When our spiritual walls are broken down, Satan comes in and kills, steals and destroys our lives. It’s more than that: he uses US to do the destroying! When we lose control, he takes control of us and we become his weapon for unrighteousness.
Romans 6:13-14 Do not offer the parts of your body to sin, as instruments [weapons] of wickedness, but rather offer yourselves to God, as those who have been brought from death to life; and offer the parts of your body to him as instruments of righteousness.  For sin shall not be your master, because you are not under law, but under grace.
Death no longer reigns in our hearts, but the Spirit does–if we allow Him to lead us. He is the God of hope (Romans 15:13), and He sees us as we will be (Romans 4:17)–But are not, yet! He is working with us to grow us into mature sons, and this growing process is what our walk with Jesus is all about.
Learning to move from what we want to what He wants is our goal. Let’s consider every conflict an opportunity to be like Jesus–at that moment through right decisions or after the fact through consequences. Whether we like it or not, that IS our life!